I’ve recently started EMDR for my PTSD. And it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Going back into the memory while tracking your therapists hand movements. And the fact that those memories that you have tried so hard to bottle up now run rampant through your brain. Through your waking hours. Through the few hours of respite you get a night. And the worse time of all, that gap between wakefulness and unconsciousness.
Laying in bed
Your ghost beside me
Sucking the air
Out of the room
I remember your hands
Your body
Taking what you wanted
Not what I gave
Memory
Continues to suck
All the air
Out of the room
I couldn’t breathe then
I can’t breathe now
Here alone
Laying in bed
Violating me
Over and over again
Sucking the air
Out of the room
Tears I couldn’t shed then
Pour now down my cheeks
Torment and despair
Sucking the air
Out of the room
Descent Rising 