How good it feels to be away from the edge of The Pit. Despite being mostly housebound due to inclement weather, I have been feeling pretty good. Maybe because I haven’t had to be social. Who knows. I’m enjoying it while it lasts. Can’t help but wonder, though, if this is a shift toward hypomania. the pdoc I saw didn’t see a bipolar diagnosis. Borderline Personality Disorder, Complex PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and, finally, Persistent Depressive Disorder. She said there is a lot of overlap with BP and BPD, so sometimes it’s hard to get a clear diagnosis.
A new year always brings with it some reflection. I’m not the type to make new years resolutions,; my goals change as I grow and change. And I wanted to take the time to give thanks to the woman who led me through the darkness to the light. I wrote a poem for her, and gave it to her just before we broke for the holidays. She never said anything about it, so I should probably not be embarrassed by it. I thought I’d share it with you.
A ship with a broken compass
Tossed on the waves
Hither and yon
Sinking slowly
Trying to find my way
By a North Star
Lost in a sky
Of darkness and despair
The clouds thick
Ever present
Blotting out the light
Along came a guide
Showed me how to mend
That broken compass
To fight my way
Back to the light
Behind the clouds
The siren song
Is still loud at times
But I have a gift
A toolkit
Cobbled together
Patiently guided
With grace and skill
To heal the wounded
Children within
Descent Rising 