it’s been so long since I’ve felt the pull of hypomania. And right now as I sink ever deeper into the pit, I find I’m missing the ethereal highs. Right now all I feel is despondency and despair. And I can’t even cry about it. The freedom to cry has been locked down so tight for so long that the tears won’t flow freely. Oh, my eyes, they water, and I get a lump in my throat, but just silent tears running down my cheeks. Not satisfying at all.
I wrote this while coming down from a hypomanic high. Back when I was undiagnosed and, or rather, misdiagnosed, with unipolar depression. One day I may lose myself in the upward pull, but today is not that day.
LIGHT AS THE BREEZE
Free at last
Running soaring
Leaping flying
Unburdened by despair
Hope no longer
Just another
Four letter word
Light as the breeze
A leaf on the wind
Blowing where it takes me
Whirling
Spiralling
Up and down
Disintigrating
Into
Nothing
Descent Rising 